Funny Greeting Cards for People Who Hate Soppy Ones
If you’re shopping for greeting cards and your first thought is please don’t make me write something heartfelt, you’re in the right place.
These are the funny, cheeky, occasionally brutal designs you buy because it’s so them, even before you’ve worked out the occasion. They’re brilliant for birthdays, leaving dos, workmates, and those just-because moments where a normal, sensible card simply won’t do.
- Big laugh energy with minimal effort
- Perfect for mates, siblings, work pals and anyone who appreciates sarcasm
- Great for last-minute gifting because the card does the talking
How to pick the right funny card
Funny cards are great because they do the heavy lifting for you, but the best ones still feel personal. If you’re not sure where to start, pick the tone first: cheeky and daft, lightly rude, or full dark humour. Then match it to the relationship. What you’d give a best mate is usually very different to what you’d hand to a colleague.
Next, go for a theme you know they’ll love. Cats, adulting disasters, birthday dread, and big compliments land fast because they’re instantly relatable. And if you’re worried about what to write inside, choose a design that’s blank inside so you can keep it simple, add an inside joke, or just sign your name and let the front do the talking.
Who these cards are perfect for
- Cat people who appreciate judgemental humour
- Workmates and leaving cards where you want a laugh, not a speech
- Mates who love honest birthday roasting
- Anyone who finds birthdays mildly terrifying
- The friend you actually want to hype up properly
Make a small gift feel bigger
A great card makes even a small gift feel properly considered. Add one to a plush, a little piece of jewellery, or a home fragrance treat and you’ve instantly turned a quick purchase into something that feels personal. It’s also handy to keep a few funny favourites in the drawer for last-minute birthdays and surprise celebrations.
A few favourites from the range
Gift Is In The Litter Tray Birthday Card
Classic cat chaos for anyone with a dark sense of humour (and a furry menace at home).
Perfect for: cat owners, best mates, sibling banter.
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Folding a Fitted Sheet Greeting Card
A painfully relatable truth. Ideal for birthdays, new homes, and anyone wrestling elastic corners.
Perfect for: new home gifts, adulting jokes, workmates.
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Old As F**k Birthday Card
For mates who prefer honesty, banter, and a birthday roast served with balloons.
Perfect for: best mates, milestone birthdays, roast-friendly friends.
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Big Whoop Funny Cat Birthday Greeting Card
Deadpan birthday energy for people who hate a fuss (and love a grumpy cat).
Perfect for: cat people, low-key birthdays, dry humour fans.
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David Shrigley – You’re F***ing Ace
Zero subtlety, maximum impact. Perfect for bigging someone up properly.
Perfect for: congratulations, birthdays, hype-up moments.
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It’s The Thought That Counts Birthday Card
When you want to acknowledge the birthday without pretending you planned ahead.
Perfect for: last-minute birthdays, colleagues, casual gifting.
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One Year Closer To Eternal Darkness Birthday Card
Dark comedic flair for the friend who laughs in the face of ageing.
Perfect for: dark humour fans, mates with existential vibes.
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Zeppelinmoon Stoat In Jeans Greeting Card
Relatable payday chaos in card form. For overspenders with confidence.
Perfect for: birthdays, mates who love a laugh, payday chaos.
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Zeppelinmoon Outta Here Snail Greeting Card
Leaving-card energy. Perfect for work besties, new jobs, and full outta-here moods.
Perfect for: leaving cards, new jobs, work besties.
Shop hereQuick FAQs
Are these cards blank inside?
Many of the designs are blank inside, which makes them easy to use for different occasions. If you need a specific inside message, check the product description on the listing.
Do they come with envelopes?
Most greeting cards include an envelope (often kraft or coloured). If you’re ordering a few to keep in the drawer, it’s worth checking each listing so you know what’s included.
What size are the cards?
Sizes vary by design, but you’ll commonly see A6 (105 × 148mm) and 120 × 170mm styles across the range. The product page will confirm the exact size.
How do I choose the right level of rude?
If it’s for a colleague or someone you’re not 100% sure about, go for cheeky or relatable humour. Save the savage ones for best mates, siblings, and anyone who’ll laugh hardest.
Want more like this? Browse the full greeting card range here: